Making a daily choice to live!
Every time I see that someone has taken their life due to depression via suicide I get upset. I mourn the loss as if it were a close family or friend. The questions of: Why did they do it? Did anyone see the signs? Were they ignored? How is this going to affect their family and loved ones? Is there anyone blaming themselves for the loss (I hope not cause that would definitely be the worse)? I believe I do so for selfish reasons because I always say to myself that it could’ve been me. Depression/suicide has claimed quite a few of my friends and some family members and it almost claimed me.
In the past I’ve attempted to take my life 3 times. The first time was by ingesting toxic chemicals. The second a what should have been a fatal car crash. The third by swallowing a whole bottle of pain killers / sleeping pills. Now either I just must be horrible at this suicide thing or there was a reason I was being kept around. There was almost a fourth time via a knife. That moment last one I was talked out of it and prayed over by members of New Salem Missionary Baptist Church. I remember talking to Min. Ruffin, Min. Lowe and Min. Troy and they told me God had other plans for me.
I am fortunate to have been able to still be here. I am grateful that my family didn’t have to endure the pain of wondering what could they have done and the whys. There are however those who weren’t as fortunate as myself.
When people who are dealing with depression come to those crossroads of coping and death. There begans an epic struggle. Dying to those at that point is as simple as just leaving a Cleveland Browns or Brooklyn Nets game at half time because you are tired of seeing your team get beat so badly on the regular. At this point most just need people that care to intervene. To stop them at the door and convince them to stay.
For those who don’t deal with depression / mental illness it’s hard to understand why those who do don’t reach out for help. Well it’s simple. It’s embarrassing and often times the fear of rejection is worse than what the subject is depressed about. Individuals that deal with mental illness / depression are typically shunned by those who don’t. Be it intentionally or unintentionally. Folks who encounter those who are dealing depression / mental illness typically feel uncomfortable being around. I suspect that the main reason they are is due to the sense of responsibility they acquire by knowing or associating with these individuals. That if they do commit suicide that somehow they are at fault. Well let me just say you’re not.
If you know or sense that someone is dealing with depression and suicidal tendencies reach out. Check on them from time to time. A simple question of are you alright? Can go a long way. If possible learn the subtle warning signs and key suicidal phrases. Those struggling with suicidal tendencies want help. Maybe one day you can provide the hope they need.